Review #1 by R. Hunter Gough
Capsule Review: Beat the crap out of animals, then cook 'em.
Beat the crap out of your opponent, and steal his dishes. Pretty fun
for about ten minutes.
All the graphics are generally iconographic, and they do a pretty good
job at that, but otherwise they tend to be a little stale. In the dreaded
"Story Mode" you are treated to literal hours of static anime "cut-scenes"
where characters babble back and forth without moving about how great
their cooking skills are. The "supers" in this game (when you cook an
animal to the maximum level) have their requisite "super" animations,
but even these are small and uninspiring.
The music is exactly the same for every single round, and not very
interesting music at that. The sound FX are comprised of staticky slashing
sounds, and voices yelling the same thing regardless of what you cook.
Granted, the voice is different for each character, but they could have
at least had them call out the name of each dish instead of just saying
There are two buttons: attack and cook. You use the control pad to
run around. When you hold down the cook button, you can rotate the controller
in circles to make better dishes. That doesn't sound too hard, but for
some reason it is. The characters are sluggish and unresponsive even
to these simple controls, cooking will arbitrarily stop in the middle
and give you an inferior dish, and you will probably be attacked by
the animals as often as you attack them. Versus Computer mode is a special
treat, as the computer opponents always ignore the animals completely
and spend the entire match chasing and hitting you, thus stealing any
dishes you try to make while not making any dishes themselves for you
to steal. And, of course, there is the aforementioned "Story Mode",
wherein you have time to cook and eat dinner, clip your toenails, read
the newspaper and watch Friends all in the time it takes to plod through
about five different static frames of people looking tense and eating
and talking about their cooking skills. Then it finally gets to the
match, your opponent chases you around and hits you until he wins, and
you have to start the whole process over again.
I have no idea what the story is, but it's really long and really
The controls are explained above in the gameplay section. Always select Vs. Player or Vs. Computer mode. NEVER select story mode. If you select the wrong option and a screen pops up with men eating noodles and discussing their cooking skills in Japanese, do yourself a favor and throw your Playstation across the room. Or just hit reset.
I keep this game with my other games just so new friends will say
"Cooking Fighter?? What the hell's that?" and then be really entertained
by it for about five minutes until they realize how lame it is and we
move on to something else. Despite the kookiness of the concept, I would
definitely not recommend making this game part of your permanent collection.
Unless you're constantly seized with a burning desire to watch a little
super-deformed ninja try and fail to make Eel Noodles.